53 Funny Poems to make you laugh without cringing

2022 Update

As the saying goes, “Laughter is the best medicine.” Even though it’s not literally a medicine, there is real merit to the saying.

Everyone should laugh till their stomach hurts once in a while. And if you’re interested in that, you’re at the right place. We’ve compiled a list of the 53 best hilarious and funny poems that will hopefully at least make you giggle, if not have you rolling on the floor.

Our collection features poems suitable for all ages – whether you’re an adult, a teenager, or a child, there’s a little bit of something for everyone. Some of these poems feature interesting messages about life and are just as thought-provoking as they are comedic.

So without further ado, let’s dive in:

Funny Poems

1.) “My Shadow”

I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me,
And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.
He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head;
And I see him jump before me, when I jump into my bed.

The funniest thing about him is the way he likes to grow—
Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow;
For he sometimes shoots up taller like an india-rubber ball,
And he sometimes gets so little that there’s none of him at all.

– Robert Louis Stevenson

2.) “A Word To Husband”

To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.

– Ogden Nash

3.) “Yes! No!”

My turn signal wasn’t working,
So I asked for help from a friend.
“Stand behind the car,” I said.
“Let’s get this problem to end.”

“When I turn the signal on,
If it’s working, let me know.”
I hit the blinker and then I heard:
“Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! No!”

– Joanna Fuchs

4.) “Untitled”

I’ve hunted near, I’ve hunted far
I even looked inside my car.
I’ve lost my glasses,
I’m in need, To have them now so I can read.
I loudly swear and I curse.
Did I leave them in my purse?
Are they behind the sofa, under the bed?
Oh there they are – on my head!

– Anne Scott

5.) “Eletelephony”

Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephant—
No! No! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone—
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I’ve got it right.)
Howe’er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee—
(I fear I’d better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!)

– Laura Elizabeth Richards

6.) “Consider the Hammer”

Consider the hammer –
It keeps its head.
It doesn’t fly off the handle.
It keeps pounding away.
It finds the point, then drives it home.

It looks at the other side, too,
and thus often clinches the matter.
It makes mistakes, but when it does, it starts all over.
It is the only knocker in the world
That does any good.

– Unknown

7.) “Messy Room”

Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
His underwear is hanging on the lamp.
His raincoat is there in the overstuffed chair,
And the chair is becoming quite mucky and damp.

His workbook is wedged in the window,
His sweater’s been thrown on the floor.

His scarf and one ski are beneath the TV,
And his pants have been carelessly hung on the door.

His books are all jammed in the closet,
His vest has been left in the hall.

A lizard named Ed is asleep in his bed,
And his smelly old sock has been stuck to the wall.

Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
Donald or Robert or Willie or—

Huh? You say it’s mine? Oh, dear,
I knew it looked familiar!

– Shel Silverstein

8.) “A Snow Man”

Oh, the beautiful snow!
We’re all in a glow—
Nell, Dolly, and Willie, and Dan;
For the primest of fun,
When all’s said and done,
Is just making a big snow man.
Two stones for his eyes
Look quite owlishly wise,
A hard pinch of snow for his nose;
Then a mouth that’s as big
As the snout of a pig,
And he’ll want an old pipe, I suppose.
Then the snow man is done,
And to-morrow what fun
To make piles of snow cannon all day,
And to pelt him with balls
Till he totters and falls,
And a thaw comes and melts him away.

– Unknown

9.) “The People Upstairs”

The people upstairs all practise ballet
Their living room is a bowling alley
Their bedroom is full of conducted tours.
Their radio is louder than yours,
They celebrate week-ends all the week.
When they take a shower, your ceilings leak.
They try to get their parties to mix
By supplying their guests with Pogo sticks,
And when their fun at last abates,
They go to the bathroom on roller skates.
I might love the people upstairs more
If only they lived on another floor.

– Ogden Nash

10.) “Toilet Strategy”

A little boy sat on the toilet;
He was in there way too long.
His mom came in to check;
She thought something was wrong.

He’s sit and sigh, sit and sigh,
Then he’d slap the top of his head.
“Why do you do that?” his mother asked.
“Works for ketchup,” he said.

– Joanna Fuchs

11.) “Untitled”

Roses are red
Violets are blue
God made me pretty
What happened to you!

– Unknown

12.) “If I were In Charge Of The World”

If I were in charge of the world
I’d cancel oatmeal,
Monday mornings,
Allergy shots, and also Sara Steinberg.

If I were in charge of the world
There’d be brighter nights lights,
Healthier hamsters, and
Basketball baskets forty eight inches lower.

If I were in charge of the world
You wouldn’t have lonely.
You wouldn’t have clean.
You wouldn’t have bedtimes.
Or ‘Don’t punch your sister.’
You wouldn’t even have sisters.

If I were in charge of the world
A chocolate sundae with whipped cream and nuts would be a vegetable
All 007 movies would be G,
And a person who sometimes forgot to brush,
And sometimes forgot to flush,
Would still be allowed to be
In charge of the world.

– Judith Voirst

13.) “Humble and Grumble”

Humble and Grumble were identical twins,
And Humble was ever so meek;
Grumble did nothing but grumble all day,
Some may even call him a freak.

Humble was happy and everyone’s friend,
Grumble was jealous of course;
Humble was happy to follow the Lord,
But Grumble, an immoral source.

Humble was never seen wearing a frown,
And Grumble, ne’er seen with a smile;
Humble won friends by just being himself,
But, Grumble, he won them by guile.

So Grumble, please follow Humble, your twin,
And Humble, don’t grumble, I pray,
For grumble will make you like Grumble, your twin,
Please Grumble, be humble today.

– Eldred Herbert

14.) “Doggy Heaven”

All doggies go to heaven (or so I’ve been told).
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight?
Why, because there’s not a single cat in sight!

– Larry Huggins

15.) “Monosyllabics”

The black cat sat
In the fat man’s hat;
“Oh, dear!” the fat man said.
“May the great gray bat
Catch the bad black cat
Who has left me no hat
For my head!”

A large red cow
Tried to make a bow,
But did not know how,
They say.
For her legs got mixed,
And her horns got fixed,
And her tail would get
In her way.

A sad, thin ape
Bought some wide white tape
To trim a new cape
For his niece;
But a bold buff calf,
With a loud, rude laugh,
Bit off one whole half
For his geese.

– Laura E. Richards

16.) “A Wonderful Bird Is The Pelican”

A funny old bird is a pelican.
His beak can hold more than his belican.
Food for a week
He can hold in his beak,
But I don’t know how the helican.

– Dixon Lanier Merritt

17.) “Golf Chat”

Three old men on the golf course,
(Each had trouble hearing well)
Were playing a round on a breezy day,
When one blew over and fell.

“Windy, isn’t it?” said one of them,
While helping the other to rise.
“No, it’s Thursday,” said the second man.
And they walked off to exercise.

The third man had listened intently;
Now he chimed in, with good cheer;
As he followed the others, he called out,
“So am I. Let’s have a beer!”

– Joanna Fuchs

18.) “Untitled”

There was a young lady of Kent.
Whose nose was most awfully bent. She followed her nose, One day, I suppose, And no one knows which way she went.

– Unknown

19.) “I’m Nobody! Who are you?”

I’m Nobody! Who are you?
Are you – Nobody – too?
Then there’s a pair of us!
Don’t tell! they’d advertise – you know!

How dreary – to be – Somebody!
How public – like a Frog –
To tell one’s name – the livelong June –
To an admiring Bog!

– Emily Dickinson

20.) “The Life of a Cupcake”

They put me in the oven to bake.
Me, a deprived and miserable cake.
Feeling the heat, I started to bubble.
Watching the others, I knew I was in trouble.

They opened the door and I started my life.
Frosting me with a silver knife,
Decorating me with candy jewels.
The rest of my batch looked like fools.
Lifting me up, she took off my wrapper.
Feeling the breeze, I wanted to slap her.
Opening her mouth with shiny teeth inside,
This was the day this cupcake died.

– Shelby Greer

21.) “Do You Carrot All for Me?”

Do you carrot all for me?
My heart beets for you,
With your turnip nose
And your radish face,
You are a peach.
If we cantaloupe,
Lettuce marry:
Weed make a swell pear.

– Unknown

22.) “Too Careful”

I don’t believe in taking excess risks,
But a person can be excessively careful, too.
A friend of mine checks every detail twice;
He’s the most meticulous man I ever knew.

We went to the copy store the other day;
I thought we’d be a few minutes, and then be done.
But he counted all his copies several times,
And then proceeded to proofread every one!

– Joanna Fuchs

23.) “Untitled”

I once knew a man who lived in a jar.
For a stranger sight you’d have to go far. I asked him once why he lived in a jar. He grimaced and said, how bizarre you are. My jar’s so cozy, warm and bright, Even in the full moonlight. The only drawback is, you see, Getting out quickly when I have to pee. — Irwin Mercer

– Irwin Mercer

24.) “Tinkle, Tinkle, Little Car”

Tinkle, Tinkle little car
How I wonder what you are.

Leaking oil every day
Having it your own way.

Going up hills real slow
I don’t want you any mo’.

Tinkle, Tinkle little car
Boy, what a lemon you are.

– Cecilia L. Goodbody

25.) “Untitled”

The Earthquake rumbled
And mumbled
And grumbled;
And then he bumped,
And everything tumbled—
Bumpyty-thump!
Thumpyty-bump!—
Houses and palaces all in a lump!

“Oh, what a crash!
Oh, what a smash!
How could I ever be so rash?”
The Earthquake cried.
“What under the sun
Have I gone and done?
I never before was so mortified!”
Then away he fled,
And groaned as he sped:
“This comes of not looking before I tread.”

– Unknown

26.) Too Many Questions

“Every time I ask you something,”
The upset husband said,
“You answer with another question,”
He said, scratching his head.

“Could you please stop it,” he queried,
Continuing the chat.
She smiled at him and replied:
“Do I really do that?”

– Joanna Fuchs

27.) “Untitled”

I am a dog.
And you are a flower.
I lift my leg up.
And give you a shower!

– Unknown

28.) “I Ate a Chili Pepper”

I ate a chili pepper
One a lunch-time dare;
Sandy said I’d burn my mouth,
But I didn’t care.

I ate that chili pepper—
Left not a seed to waste—
And won that truly silly bet,
But lost my sense of taste.

– Barbara Vance

29.) Funny Young Fellow

A funny young fellow named Perkins
Was terribly fond of small gherkins.
One day after tea
He ate ninety three
And pickled his internal workings.

– Unknown

30.) “Untitled”

Oh my beloved belly button.
The squidgy ring in my midriff mutton.
Your mystery is such tricky stuff:
Why are you so full of fluff?

– Richard Leavesley

31.) “Snap, Crackle, Pop”

I feel like snap, crackle, pop
I wish my age would just stop.

I bend down and my knees do snap
Makes me feel like my legs will flap
Then my arthritis makes me crackle
I wonder what next I can tackle
And if I turn too fast I hear “pop”
My neck makes this noise like an old mop.

But let me tell you it’s okay
A snap, a crackle, a pop, lets me know I am not decay
There is still some life in these old bones
I won’t waste it with complaints and groans
And I am not going to shrivel up and die
If someone asks my age I will just lie!

– Catherine Pulsifer

32.) “The Purple Cow”

I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I’d rather see than be one.

– Gelett Burgess

33.) “Untitled”

Oh, dear,
Oh, my gosh, I hope that no one saw, I wish that I could laugh, But maybe someone saw, Maybe I should hide, But, ah, whatever, I’ll just pull my trousers up.

– Diana Laura

34.) “Granny”

Through every nook and every cranny
The wind blew in on poor old Granny
Around her knees, into each ear
(And up nose as well, I fear)

All through the night the wind grew worse
It nearly made the vicar curse
The top had fallen off the steeple
Just missing him (and other people)

It blew on man, it blew on beast
It blew on nun, it blew on priest
It blew the wig off Auntie Fanny—
But most of all, it blew on Granny!

– Spike Milligan

35.) “Perils of Thinking”

A centipede was happy quite,
Until a frog in fun
Said, “Pray, which leg comes after which?”
This raised her mind to such a pitch,
She lay distracted in the ditch
Considering how to run.

– Unknown

36.) “Untitled”

A fruit is fated to be sliced.
It sings before the blade,
In joyful hope that now at last
Its future has been made.
The slice is swift. The foodie’s fast!
The rind is cut and saved.
The pulp is squooshed and Squished and smashed!
– I’ve heard that it’s been said
No braver lemon gave it’s life.
The memory never fades
For citrus that resigns itself
To become lemonade.

– Fawn Power

37.) “Dessert Last”

Tell me what you think,
About dessert coming last.
Once we’ve eaten such a big course,
There’s no room for dessert’s extra mass.

Dessert is the favourite of all meals,
The one we all look forward to.
So yummy and mouth watering,
I can’t bear to miss out on this too.

In life there are things that can’t be done,
Or have to be put on hold.
Sometimes dessert is just like that,
Disappointment and feeling uncontrolled.

But it doesn’t have to be like that.
Missing out on something good is the worst.
We all know life is too short,
So let’s eat our dessert first!

– Julie Hebert

38.) “The Stargazer”

A stargazer out late at night,
With eyes and thoughts turned both upright,
Tumbled by chance into a well
(A dismal story this to tell);
He roared and sobbed and roared again,
And cursed “The Bear” and “Charles’s Wain.”

His woeful cries a neighbor brought,
Less learned, but wiser far in thought:
“My friend,” quoth he, “you’re much misled,
With stars to trouble thus your head;
Since you with these misfortunes meet,
For want of looking to your feet.”

– Unknown

39.) “Untitled”

An elderly man called Keith.
Mislaid his set of false teeth. They’d been laid on a chair. He’d forgot they were there. Sat down, and was bitten beneath.

– Unknown

40.) “Why Man is Bald”

Why man is bald has baffled him
For ages—many years—
And it has caused much querying
And sighs, even to tears

Why he is bald? I know the why
And later will relate
The reason he is minus hair
On top of his bald pate.

It’s not this here heredity,
Nor dandruff nor disease,
Because a hat band is too tight;
Tight scalp—no none of these.

A man is bald, I know the why,
And here I will declare,
He’s bald because, he’s bald because,
He’s minus of some hair.

– David V. Bush

41.) “Untitled”

Our school trip was a special occasion.
But we never reacher our destination.
Instead of the zoo.
I was locked in the loo.
of the toilet at the service station!

– Unknown

42.) “Untitled”

If I were a furry bear.
And had a furry tummy.
I’d climb into a honey jar
And make my tummy yummy

– Unknown

43.) “Untitled”

There once was a child in Spain.
Who loved to play in the rain.
One day he tripped.
And broke his hip.
Now he is in serious pain.

– Unknown

44.) “Untitled”

The fear of missing out
is a real concern of mine
I fear if I go out tonight
I’ll miss out on bed at 9.

– Samantha Jayne

45.) “About the Teeth of Sharks”

The thing about a shark is—teeth,
One row above, one row beneath.

Now take a close look. Do you find
It has another row behind?

Still closer—here, I’ll hold your hat:
Has it a third row behind that?

Now look in and…Look out! Oh my,
I’ll never know now! Well, goodbye.

– John Ciardi

46.) “Home Alone”

My family’s gone; there’s no one home.
It’s only me who’s home alone.
I shouldn’t hear a single squeak.
There shouldn’t even be a creak,

So what’s that thumping that I hear?
It must mean one thing: death is near.
“You’re an adult, you’ll be just fine.”
I tell myself as I dial “nine”…

Was that a knock upon the door?
My heart beats faster than before
I know it’s closed; I’ve checked the lock.
At least my killer knows to knock?

I cannot sleep, though I’m in bed.
I’ve made amends with God instead.
If He decides that it’s my time,
Then this will be my very last rhyme.

I hear a bang and then a break.
My head shoots up; there’s no mistake!
I turn my music volume high
So I won’t hear the way I die.

I run upstairs, desk lamp in hand.
Over my head, ready to land,
And right before it did just that.
I remembered—I have a cat.

– Innarenko

47.) “I Ate a Ton of Sugar”

I ate a ton of sugar.
It made me very sweet.
It also made me very round,
now I can’t find my feet.

– Alice Gilbert

48.) “Salad Pun Poem”

We can have fun if you lettuce.
Just tossing salad puns.
I’ll try not to wilt.
For I’ll try dressing these
Puns to your appetite.

– Chuck

49.) “Untitled”

Time Flies like the wind
Fruit Flies like bananas

– Unknown

50.) “Untitled”

I dig, you dig, we
dig, he dig, she
dig, they dig…
It’s not a
beautiful poem,
but it’s very deep.

– Unknown

51.) “‘app’-e-tight”

When my phone is too hungry
to be fed on apps but just gets
full after a few “bytes’

– Unknown

52.) “Untitled”

Last night at dinner we had some fish,
and though I tried, I did not finish.
My mother told me while I chewed,
brains loved fish over all other food.

– Unknown

53.) “Untitled”

My dog is quite hip.
Except when he takes a dip.
He looks like a fool,
when he jumps in the pool,
and reminds me of a sinking ship.

– Unknown

Summary

And that’s a wrap of 53 of the funniest poems you can find online. We hope you had a good time going through these and are hopefully now in a better mood. If you know someone who’s going through a rough time and could use a belly laugh, send them a poem that you found funny.

If you liked any of these poems, feel free to share them with your friends and family. Funny poems make for an excellent text or post to send to someone to keep the conversation going.

They also work wonders as an icebreaker; getting a laugh out of someone makes a great first impression and will set you up for success during the rest of your exchange.